Save Me;

At least now I know if I seriously need someone, I’ll never get a text back.

Nothing I do anymore feels right.

No one talks to me much anymore. I understand I’m 1700 miles away now, but I still need them. Everyone is so involved with social media, but never around when someone truly needs them.

My life is a disaster right now.

Everyone compliments me on my weightloss, if they only knew what I’ve done to get here. No one sees the tears, no one sees the scars, no one sees the pain. No one knows how close I am to drowning in my mess. I am trying to be a good mother, but Xander is acting out awful now and wanting nothing to do with me.

Driving to get dinner earlier, all I could do was cry and think about running a red light. I’m getting bad again. No one knows that but me.

I am so close to a breakdown and I feel so alone.

(Sidenote; clearly needing to vent, not needing pity. Also, my son brings me happiness, don’t doubt my mothering.)

Always,
Lauren

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