Almost on a daily basis, I beat myself up over the situation I’m in. I constantly go over the details in my mind, I missed something. Something so important that I lost my husband.
There was something, something I missed that destroyed all of my happiness. I should have talked to him more, I should have took his happiness into consideration. I should have done so much more.
But, here I am. Alone. Blogging about my feelings at almost midnight. Feeling desperate. I want to reach out to him, tell him how much I miss him. Tell him we could fix it. That I won’t miss those signs ever again.
I’m not to blame, I know it. Communication works both ways. He walked out on me, on our son. On a family that really belonged to him, to play house to a family he was never a part of making. He did this.
So why am I awake at midnight blaming myself?