I can only hope that one day, it all makes a little more sense than it does tonight. People tell me to move on, that it all happened for a reason.
Please tell me how there’s reason behind leaving your own little family to play daddy to a new one. Tell me how there’s reason behind ignoring your own child. Tell me how there’s reason to raise a princess when you have a beautiful prince.
Yes, I know it’s not the other child’s fault, and I have no anger toward her. My anger is toward the man I gave six years of my life to, six years and a baby boy that he knows nothing about anymore. My anger is toward them hashtagging “our princess” in pictures.
You have a beautiful prince, you should be the king in HIS world. Yet, you are tattooing “king” on your finger to symbolize another woman. I used to be the one telling people to move on, I used to be the one telling people it happened that way for a reason. I lost that person.
I will never find the reason behind what has happened to my son and I. I will never be okay with what we have been dealt. I’m tired of being silent, I’m tired of pretending I’m okay. Some days giving up sounds so much better.
But then my son wakes up, he yells “mama” and that’s when I know. I have to keep fighting for him, if not for anyone else. He’s lost enough, and I won’t be the next one walking away from him. I’ll be there everytime he yells mama. No matter how much strength it takes.